I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize