I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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