I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
