I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
