So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
