Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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