YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im about as happy as oj after his trial
nutella sex= disaster
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
