Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
