i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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