just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
