If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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