Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
