matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
