pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
