I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
