just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
