Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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