I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
