everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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