Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
