We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nutella sex= disaster
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
