Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
