I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I AM VODKA MAN
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
