is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I checked into jail on foursquare
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
