if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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