I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
