pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
