yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
third nipple confirmed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
