I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
