I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
