It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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