Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
