Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
