i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
