5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
