Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
