do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
