Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
