We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize