Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
