Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
