Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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