she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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