wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize