and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
