Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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