He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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