So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
