White coat. Heels.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
