i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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