it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
