I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize