Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize