Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
