Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
