In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
