i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
