he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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