shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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