My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize