Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
