my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I believe in your delicious
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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