just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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