and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
