well you can't waste a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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