If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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