Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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