break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
