I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
